Think about the difference between these two questions:
• “Are you okay?”
• “How are you feeling about what happened?”
The first can be answered with a simple yes or no. The second invites conversation, reflection, and connection. That’s the power of open questions.
In classrooms, care homes, and workplaces, asking open questions encourages people to share more, think deeper, and feel valued. Closed questions can be useful for clarity “Did you complete the task?” or “Are you ready to start?”, but open questions go further. They build trust, nurture relationships, and often reveal what’s really going on beneath the surface.
Why open questions matter
When people feel truly heard, they are more likely to cooperate, resolve conflicts, and take responsibility. An open question shows genuine curiosity rather than judgment. It creates a space where the other person feels safe to express themselves without fear of being shut down.
Practical example
A school leader asks a disruptive student: “Why were you shouting?” The student shrugs and goes silent. Instead, if the leader asks, “What was going on for you before you shouted?”—the student begins to explain feelings of frustration. The conversation opens rather than closes. That small shift in language transforms the dynamic from blame to understanding.
The same applies in care settings: asking an elderly resident “Are you in pain?” may get a brief answer. But asking “What kind of discomfort are you experiencing right now?” often brings out detail that helps staff respond more effectively.
And in the workplace, a manager might ask a team member, “Did you like the training?” and receive a polite “Yes.” If instead they ask, “What part of the training was most useful for you?” they spark meaningful feedback and a stronger sense of engagement.
How to practice open questions
At NVC Awareness, we coach staff to use “what,” “how,” and “tell me” questions that invite reflection, not defensiveness. Examples include:
- “What support would make this easier for you?”
- “How did you come to that decision?”
- “Tell me more about what you’d like to see happen next.”
The key is to stay curious. Rather than rushing to solve the problem or correct the behaviour, open questions slow the conversation down, helping both sides to understand each other better.
What’s the best open question you’ve ever been asked—the one that made you stop and think? Share it with us.
Want to train your staff to ask better questions? Contact admin@nvcawareness.co.uk for details.
#OpenQuestions #NVC #PositiveCommunication #ActiveListening #ConflictResolution
